VG

Long story how I came across this

I'd say some have TCS more than others actually

Question.

Would you, given the chance go back in time and kill Hitler? Like in 1938 at a big rally? The chances of your survival are minimal but you end up saving millions of people. This comes to my mind as a certain 'Louder then Bombs" contributor wants to dress up as him for halloween.

Is this a morally acceptable thing to do? In both “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban” and “Back to the future” the characters who are doing the time travelling, (Hermione Granger and Marty Mcfly) respectively are told by the minstry of magic and Doc Brown to not alter the events of time as it may have disastrous consequences for their futures, as we see when Marty begins to disappear when he stops his parents first meeting and chance to fall in love. So what about changing one of the most historically significant events ever?

And if you did it that early on in the period, people wouldn’t have known how bad he was. So in history he would have been considered a great leader for Germany, therefore you would probably be considered in the same way as Lee Harvey Oswald and the guy who killed John Lennon are.

It would still be pretty cool I guess.

Halt, Hammerzeit

I love Facebook quizzes...

"your not jewish, don't worry"

Hey guys, don't know if you've heard of this new band coming out called 'Shrouded in mystery' but they've already got a single.

Here's a close-up because it's not letting me edit my previous post

LAWL, it's the guitarist from the Horrors

pretty hard to see him, but he's sitting there.

Sorry about all the words. Really needed to get this traumatic experience off my chest by way of a blog post

Note: Copy pasting this from word kinda fucked shit up format wise for some reason. Just bear with it. Deep down you don't give a shit about formatting.

I’ve recently learnt the hard way that I’m never going to make a fortune selling shit on the internet. My dad lent me a car on the condition that I sell it on trademe at some point in an attempt to subtly divert my future towards the soul crushing, but my life sustaining car business. I’ve given the car a good run, but now it’s becoming a bit of a money sink as it guzzles down gas like tsunamis guzzle down people. It’s also getting a bit grubby not to mention I get to keep any profit made on the car, which will useful in sustaining certain habits. The fucking bummer about the whole situation is having to deal with people on trademe who seem less than eager to just hand over their fucking cash already. They ask questions about shit that I can’t find in the manual then they call me and ask more questions that I have to artfully talk around in my stammering, teenage retard phone voice. The internet is great because it is so impersonal and this whole experience is ruining it for me. I’m meeting internet people. They are coming to my house. I’m going for little drives while they make small talk with me. One guy was all, “I’m the guy who asked about cruise control” as if he was some kind of D-grade celebrity. “It’s good for long drives, y’know.”
“Oh, yeah” I replied. “You do a lot of long distance driving?”
“No, not really” he said casually. As if what he had just said wasn’t the most retarded bullshit ever. And this was before we had even got in the car. I thought he’d find it funny or at least show some kind of reaction to the death metal that began blasting when he started the car, but no. Nothing. He wasn’t one for fun and games which meant I was in trouble as he probably wanted to know stuff about the car. “Oh! We’ve got tip-tronic* gear change, I see.” He said as if it were something worth being excited about.
“Uh yeah, it does.” I replied, well and truly sick of this bullshit, desperately hoping he would decide to head back soon as the car was running on nothing but my my prayers and the dreams of young children, as I wasn't putting gas in a car that I was gonna be giving to some fool. The petrol light had been on all week. He began fucking round with the tip-tronics and accidentally down shifted which made a god awful noise, that, I, knowing nothing about cars assumed did irreparable damage to the transmission. I couldn’t understand why a guy who wants cruise control would care about being able to change the gears in an automatic car. He wants to fuck around with the lever, but he doesn’t wanna push the accelerator. I’m thinking that is some deeply repressed masturbatory shit going on right there. Even though my mind had strayed to this guys jacking off habits, I thought the whole thing had gone well. But it hadn’t. When he got out of the car he found the fault that I had failed to inform him off the. The central locking is fucked. This was the deal breaker for this uptight piece of shit even thought the car is way cheaper than anything else on the site. Too bad it wasn’t raining and he didn’t initiate the window wipers that screech at a frequency that sets off a chemical imbalance in your brain giving you clinical depression.

Moral of the story is: Making money on the internet isn’t as fun as the people who made World of Warcraft, or that guy who traded a paperclip for a house make it out to be. Stay in school and get a real job. “It’s not worth it, eh.”(RIP smoking guy from the telly).

PS. Reading over this I realize this makes me seem like a whiney motherfucker. Don’t worry guys; this isn’t a flaw in my writing style. That’s just what I’m like.

* Tip-tronics let you change the gears in a car with automatic transmission. Usually only used to lock the car in gear when you’re going down hill, but this guy thought he was a bad ass changing gears on his own on the mean streets of Fendalton.

Ironic advertising

Coming this Summer...

Single and unattached

FUCK! FINALLY!

Then... DRAMA

I don't know if any people from our school really read BLTB, but my attention was recently drawn to this facebook conversation. The whole argument arose because Sam's head had been photoshopped on the naked body of some guy and Emma disapproved or something, you can see it here if you want. Sam proceeds to call Emma fat, which she kind of is, and all hell broke loose from there.

Hoping to see a proper fight or something, I'd very much like it to escalate to fisticuffs.

<3 tattoos

There's something about overweight gamers getting regrettable tattoos that tickles me pink. I'm not sure if it's just the plain absurdity or the very few amount of people that will understand it or even find it funny that makes it so great. That said, I get these two, and I'm very glad I can cross off another few pictures on my 'tattoo ideas' list. To me it's pretty much like an electrician getting the Dick Smith Electronic logo on their arm or something, or a selection of Halo tattoos.



News flash! Only the first Halo was good.

(I'm not gonna apologize for not posting in ages 'coz no one cares and it's fucking gay)

Had to go to the doctor the other day. I’ve been feeling pretty down in the dumps. Fatigue, sore throat, headache. My dad’s GF was like, “bro, you have glandular fever.” I did the sensible thing and googled: “glandular fever” and convinced myself I had it then booked an appointment at the doctor. Turns out a million years at doctor school doesn’t teach you anything about time management. I got so bored waiting that I asked for a SARS mask that was meant for people with coughs(I thought it might be fashionable). When I was finally called into the doctor’s office she saw my mask and said, “let me guess. You have a cough, right.” Sadly, I didn’t have a cough and her joke was ruined. For the rest of the visit she seemed rather apathetic to my situation. She didn’t believe that I had glandular fever, but I reckon she’s just trying to fuck up my shit ‘coz I ruined her joke. Now I’m gonna get jaundice, and anaemia from the “glanj” (a little bit of hip slang for glandular fever) and I’m gonna die. This is like that time on World of Warcraft where something went wrong on some quest and I was poisoned by a poison that prevented me from going into stealth mode (the most important mode for a rogue FYI) for a whole week. I was freaking out. I had no idea how to cure it. I tried concocting an anti-venom which consisted of gathering venom glands from spiders that had an 8% drop rate in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. Once I finally got one I found out that it didn’t work. Turns out any druids could heal it instantly in the end. This I only found out after about an hour and a half of hardxcore virtual foraging. Maybe I need an IRL druid to help with my possible glandular fever. Too bad all real life druids aren’t really “people people” and are all like, “oh, sorry, I can only shapeshift when no one else is around.” If by “shapeshift” they mean jack off then sure, I believe them.

P.S.

Remember that post on that guy, Bradley, who told me about the parties he went to where chicks put cellphones up their vadges and took photos? Well he added me back on facebook. Now you guys can put a face to the name.(he's the one on the left with the shaved head)

As soon as you click 'upload' it's free game

Hey, where were you guys during the Australian fires?

Just wondering where everybody was at the time of the Australian fires? I'm pretty 'outdoorsy' so I took the opportunity for some rare skateboarding photographs.

Although a family of six were in desperate need of help, I had to prioritize, good skating photos are more important to me than anything else in the world - any publicity is good publicity.

bad ass motherfucker.

yeah, brought my toothbrush... didn't use it though.

I don't care what people say. The word "gay" is versatile as fuck and I'll keep using it till I die.

Kia ora,

I had written this whole post about the whole anti-smacking referendum cluster date rape that everyone is talking about at the moment, but then realised that it was "pretty gay" and not something that I would want to read at all. So here is something a lil' more fun, quirky, light hearted, bubbly, out going, intelligent(Sorry, that makes it sound like the obituary for a teenage girl. It's totally not.)

Have you guys seens kids (mainly intermediate school kids) riding those fucked up skateboard/cerebral palsy simulators? Whenever I see a kid wobbling their way down the road on one these monstrosities I can’t help but think that his efforts could have been better spent learning to ride a real skateboard not riding this piece of crap that pretty takes his chances of ever seeing a boob and locking it in a lead safe, welding it shut and sending it off on a Samoan ferry ride. Not only do the kids who ride these look like lanky spastics they also all seem to be the kids who wear bike safety gear outside of the bike context. I mean, come on. You’re what? 4? 5 centimetres off the ground? Moving at negative a gazillion kilometers per hour, The gnarliest ramp you’re gonna hit is your driveway with a gradient of 1/3000 and even then your mum’s gonna fully flip out when you get within elvish eyeshot(like earshot but with eyes) of the road. You don’t need a helmet, elbow pads, wrist guards(the gayest type of guard), knee pads. Everyone knows that that shit is dumb. Leave the armour to the guys on the cosplay scene.

IS THIS YOUR DAD?

I came across this image while searching the internet today and thought it was too good not to post. I feel like it maybe gives hope to older men going through tough divorces. Watching Canterbury play Auckland play rugby on your own is about the loneliest thing a man can do, so why not put on your ex-wife's sexy bedtime wear and have at it with your land rover? Not only that, why don't you get your 6 year old daughter to take a photo and then post it anonymously on a forum. 

Anyway, I would have thought a cars exhaust pipe would be the last place you'd want to put your penis but I guess there are those who don't really care/have much choice other than masturbation. 

<3>