Tuesday, July 21, 2009

If they look like a murderer, are they?

CLAYTON WEATHERSTON


"BREAKIN' NECKS
 BANKIN' CHEQUES"

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Gossip bro.

I know everyone thinks that “Louder than bombs” is the definitive blog for up to date news of celebs and shit so i don’t wanna disappoint.

I have a brand new scoop for all you (2-5) loyal readers, Daniel “Harry Potter” Radcliffe is addicted to P. P also known as meth or ice is narcotic so tempting not even a Hogwarts education could save “Dan” from its clutches.

















Look at his joy just thinking about his next "hit."

The mighty fall further.




I know you are all thinking “well, this is obviously true but where the facts/ evidence at?”


Well here it goes, i was watching popular early night time chat show “Rove” the other week, hosted by charming Aussie larrikin, Rove Mcmanus and he interviewed both Rupert “Ron Weasley” Grint and Harry “Dan” Potter. I got the distinct impression from the calm “chill” reactions of Ron that drugs were obviously a problem on the Harry Potter set, he looked like he knew a thing or two about ‘reefer madness” but it was Dan Potter’s eagerness to seem “like a normal guy” that convinced me of his p head status. Harry never wanted to be famous in the books and so it seems he also doesn’t IRL, he wants to be able to go to a little flat in Shirley and just be with his mates. Physical signs of his P use were moving a lot and a lack of skin on his forearms. He also made a lot of jokes that didn’t go down very well, a clear sign.



So this is a message from us, the self righteous bloggers, kick the drugs Danny, You are potential central.


“The drugs don’t work”- Band i can’t remember name of maybe blur or supergrass or suede or something like that.
















So dishevelled.



There also pictues on the net of him having an naked encounter with some horses.


Sick.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dream Interpretations v2.0

George and I were talking about dreams today so I thought i'd try to work out the deeper meaning to a dream/nightmare I had last night in a sort of 'sequel' to George's earlier post.

I don't know if anyone has seen Transformers 2 but my nightmare was orientated around Shia laBeouf's characters latino best friend/flat mate guy. The dream started with me walking into George's house and all of a sudden the latino flat mate ran at me with a blow torch, I freaked out and ran through the house to see that he had blow torched various other people who I don't think I knew which was really fucked up for a start. I can't really remember but I think the latino best friend characters face was also all burnt and stuff, anyway I ran out to my car and drove down the road, but my car could only go 15kmph or something so I had to keep jumping out and fighting the guy then jumping back in the car and driving away slowly.

I don't ever have 'dark thoughts' or anything but this dream was really something else. I vividly remember kicking the guys head because I really didn't want him to burn me with his blow torch which was really gross.

I think it might have been alluding to immigration rights in New Zealand, I can't be too sure but I know that this sort of dream really caught me off guard after watching a tame movie like Transformers 2. I recently watched Requiem for a Dream so maybe that gave me subconscious depression or something.

 I would never kick a latino's head or any part of his body for the record.


Ramon Rodriguez, is he a killr?


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

BOOM! ANOTHER BLOG! (REMASTERED EDITION)

The other day Jack and I were talking about the upcoming school ball. It had been a long time dream of ours to do something that would fuck it up a little. We had a pretty elaborate design drawn up to make penis and vagina suits that we would wear but last year Jack had a date and I thought I was too cool to go to the ball. So we were talking and we decided upon a less extravagant but perhaps just as expulsion worthy idea. We came up with this T-shirt:
 

the kind of shit you write at 1.42am when all you had done the previous day was play skateboaring games and "jam"

I feel as though it’s about time I flopped out another piece of internet based crap for you to skim read while your torrent of transformers 2 finishes downloading. This post is my attempt to extract some meaning out the dream I had last night. This dream didn't involve any kind of out there sexual practices so I guess it’s not very internet friendly but I’ll take the chance. I’ll break it down section by section and take key elements and very scientifically type them into a dream interpretation website that may or may not have utilized “word art” to make the header for its page.

 It started off with me arriving late to school.

 According to the site being late means I feel unworthy of my current circumstances. This is probably a fair call as I am a privileged white person who attends private school. Society aims to make me feel guilty about this fact on a day to day basis.

 I went to the common room but it looked nothing like the common room. It looked more like one of those cafes where they have a huge table in the middle that forces people to sit together. The kind that go out of business all the time. My media studies teacher was sitting at the table. He asked me to make him a short black.

 Coffee apparently indicates that I have feelings for Mr. Macintosh or that we share a tight bond of knowledge. I call bullshit on this one as I kinda think he is a “cocksucker” because on my report he was totally hating on how my short film was coming along but on another member of MY GROUP’S report he was waxing poetic about how much he was looking forward to viewing it! COCKSUCKMOTHERFUCK.

 Anyway he then said he wanted me to tip the coffee grind into the cup once I had made the coffee which isn’t covered on the website but probably alludes to how much he likes dicks in and around his mouth. He then proceeds to show me some pictures of his babies that he says were drawn by a Swedish artist. One was a baby with huge abdominal muscles and the other was a baby with those Maori tattoos all over its face and whale eyes.

 I could find nothing to do with Sweden, muscular babies, or babies with tattoos and whale eyes. I’m guessing it means “take it easy on the drugs”.

 The rest is kinda blurry but I remember my Japanese teacher getting mad at me and waving at my girlfriend (which is totally weird because I’m usually a “thumbs up” man).

 The whole teacher thing means that I’m shit at school which I didn’t need to go to internet to find out as the internet is probably the main cause of this. And the wave means that this person is a close friend. I guess it’s good to know that my subconscious likes my girlfriend as well.

 Didn’t mean for BLTB to become a faggotty, hippy search for enlightenment and meaning but these things happen. COMING UP: I DENOUNCE PSYCHIATRY AND POST A 20,000 WORD CONSPIRACY THEORY ABOUT OBAMA AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER. NO MORE TALK OF PRETEEN VAGINAS OR MAKING FUN OF INTERNET PEOPLE FOR ME. IT’S ALL SERIOUS BUSINESS FROM HERE ON OUT, GUYS.

 

<3> George

EDIT: I CAN'T EVEN EMOTICON RIGHT!!! FUCK MATH SYMBOLS AND THEIR BULLSHIT ROLE IN THIS WEBPAGE.

aka sithlord george (on xbox live)