Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I don't think i have ever finished a zelda game. I got pretty far through ocarina of time last time i played but they get so damn hard and faq's make me feel cheap and that i am betraying Miyamotosan. There was another zelda game on DS but only now has my wall of fiscal responsibility been broken down by the accumulation of so many rad looking titles (KorgDS10, retro game challenge, Dragon quest and all that other faggoty japanese shit+Something deep down inside me loves nintendogs.)
Maybz i'll buy it when i'm in Akihabara, it'll be my "otaku odyssey".
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A brief story for you all in one of my favourite genres, books aimed at boys 11-15 who don’t like reading and are about the armed forces or snipers.
One dark night.
One man shrouded in the darkness of his camouflaged gear. An unseen assassin in a night of inky blackness. In the lagoon below the President of Chile’s holiday house, his balaclavaed head broke the surface of the water. His wescolt 4563 model followed quickly after, water resistant to 200 metres. He spied the president and his mistress with his canon infrared 436 chinchillakilla night-vision goggles.
He fired one shot. It was true. The entry point was in the back of the Presidents head, the exit wound was through his nose then into the next entry wound of the women’s hip.
But our hero didn’t see this. He was already away miles down river. The only thing that would connect him to this crime was the particular bullets he used, Barrel nosed 382’s but he would be in international waters long before the secret police knew anything had happened.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
"yeah bro i fucking hate it how religions are always shoving these huge diatribes in our faces tryin' to convert us&shit"
I'm not actually sure why i am posting this because it is so long and boring. Maybe i won't. How about an article Sarah Argyle wrote on smoking? Yeah, that sounds better.
because i have a learning disability
words are hard for me
I got real angry at this guy
his name is dane
always talking shit
coz i forget to draw my "r's" round the right way
scrapped him at play lunch
My time on the xbox is limited
I'll never become a COD4 pro
if mum keeps the rules the same
no xbox until i've finished my homework
no xbox after tea
I got in heaps of trouble at school
printed out the picture that came up
the olsen twins naked
put dog shit in dane's bag
he started crying
nathan recorded it on his phone
he said he's gonna put it on youtube
if he can find the cord
Nathan said he couldn't find the cord
i stole his phone at lunch
nath is a liar
his phone doesn't even have a camera
just for emergencies
not even texting
Friday, March 13, 2009
Just coz i wear camo doesn't mean i lurv war. I actually fully hate it. I just wanna be fashionable but practical
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
In america some lady had pet chimp and it fucking destroyed her face when she was in a drug coma. My friends brother was an emergency call operator and she made it seem like a really cool job because he just fucked round on the internet all day but i bet if you recieved this call you would be feeling pretty down about yourself. Especially if you're as incompetent as the guy who took the monkey face ripping off phonecall. This does kinda sound like a joke though.
EDIT EDIT: SHE WASN'T EVEN IN A DRUG COMA. THAT WAS ANOTHER INCIDENT WHERE A LADY GOT HER FACE DESTROYED BY A CAT. The link between this story and the the chimp one is that both these ladies are getting their faces undestroyed at the same face transplant clinic (see: John Travolta&Nick cage in Faceoff. But these ladies aren't switching their destroyed faces. that would be dumb and fiscally irresponsible).
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I must have been living under a rock or something, because recently teenaged girls at my school are suddenly talking all things toga. My friends and I have been invited to one early April, and we can think of about a thousand better things to do with our time, but we're tagging along to see what toga parties are all about.
We'll get a whole bunch of photos, post them, and the verdict will be out early April.
Because our opinion on toga parties will be crucial to your internet browsing.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
NARRATOR: A group on gangly teenage boys sit around the breakfast table. two of them looking a little worse 4 wear.
BROOKE: u guys r so irresponsible. i cant believe you got "intoxicated". i am very hurt that you betrayed my trust.
TONY: it is fine man. U haz got to live a little sometimes. live life 2 tha' full. Never back down.
BROOKE: You&james drankd a whole bottle of gin. And were goin' crazy offending' my sensibilities&then you put the pictures on tha' internet. These thing r harmful 2 society&maybe you should think about ur actions b4 you do them. Wen u luze ur inhibitions u do hurtful things lyk tell "amily" that u lurv here even tho u have a GF. Lurv is a strong word but i really really really think u r a nice guy bt maybe ur drinkin' has got out of hand.
TONY:Maybe u r right. i do get dranked at least once a term. and maybe i am not thinkin' about tha' consequences. I am a strong aetheist so i can't do what jesus would do so maybe i will have to do what matt from the "attitude" seminar at school. WWMFTASD? would do but it would be hard to make it into a bracelet.
SAM:gettin' dranked is awesum i once got dranked and passed&u guys took a picture. It was a good experience that i wud like to repeat but my parents r gettin me down. Brooke sometime u r too hi strung& maybe this is bad for mind as you could develop a stress disorder later in life.&tony i think that your WWMFTASD? bracelet is a dumb idea because i hate jesus coz he isnt even tha' sun of god and that is too much like those gay WWJD? things.
BROOKE:I thought use was upstandin citizens bt then u got very dranked&I am not sure what to think anymore. Growing up is hard enuf without havin' to make moral judgements and "life choices". MY parents would probably not want me 2 hang and chill with you anymore if they knew and the band was just about to make it big imo.
TONY:OMG i was so tied up in myself&having gud tymz that i forgot about the joys of making music. I was jst beginning to "find myself" as a song writer&i went off the rails. ROK&roll can do bad things to people like in the movie "almost famous" and the guy jumps off the roof with no regard to how his actions might affect his relationships.He as also on a mind altering substance that would maybe also damage his future.
SAM:RELIGION IS AMIND ALTERING SUBSTANCE.
BROOKE:Tony, what r u gonna do about amily. She thinks that u lurv when maybe u didnt mean it all&if ur GF finds out she mite dump u. U shud keep her because u guys had a good thing going coz u like the same music and hookup three times a week on average.
TONY:True. Three hookups a week is good but maybe she is not the girl for me. BUT I DNT KNO. She is the safe option as far as hookups go but amily is mayb the "1".
SAM: Hopefully not the one like neo from the matrix because that has many "allusions" to tha' bible which i am against.
TONY:"it ain't easy 2 beeee meee"-five for fighting
That would be a pretty short radio play. i will make five for fighting quotes a reoccuring motif because they are a band that people still like a lot.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
"you're probably better than me, you've got one them special cards" he said pointing at my plastic timezone card and casually swiping his shitty assed cardboard one.
"i've been playing this since before you born" he said like a fucking fuck, chewing gum like some over confident obese kid who listens to Limp bizkit 10 years ago and makes his own hair gel out vaseline &vicks because his parents won't buy him for the real stuff.
He beat me and i left feeling grateful that the internet was invented so that i could shout my insults through a microphone instead of having to walk away defeated like a father who lost custody of his kids turning round to take one last look at his old family and the psycho bitch who took his house, half his life savings and children.
As i was getting on the bus i realised i didn't have my comic books.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU i ran back to the machine and asked if he had seen a brown paper bag on the machine to which he replied "has that gotcha' weed in it bruh?"
I just walked the fuck out of there.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I have decided to make a list of rad things you can get for free on the internet that aren't porn.
-InstantAction.com- This is a crazy website where you can play free online multiplayer games. I tell people this and they often don't seem to care or realise how how ridiculous that a game like Fallen Empires Legions, with full 3d graphics and dedicated servers is free(Pretty much just a tribes ripoff. If you play it watch the tutorial video first if you don't wanna suck and look like a n00b when you can't even get yr boost on). Oh, and all these games run inside your web browser.
-Jumpman- A cool 2d platformer that will make you want to kill yrself but then not kill yrself when you realise you have "2 much to live for" i.e. the later levels of jumpman.
-This American Life- This is a podcast that I tell everybody about once and only once. This is because I get angry when people don't listen to me so i punish them by withholding this awesome podcast from them.
-A Life well wasted- This is a podcast that kinda rips offs the presentation of this American life but it's is by far the best gaming podcast out at the moment.
-GFW Radio- I'm going podcast crazy so I'd put in my favourite podcast ever which is now discontinued due to the hosts getting prominet jobs in the game development industry. The link takes you a page which is some what of a cluster fuck so i advise you use the ctrl-f function(when you have clicked the link) then type in these dates:
06/26/2008 (Download this one atleast. For me.)
Ahh fuck I forgot about the heroes of the web!
-Runescape- is for faggots. Don't play this.
To be honest I thought this list would be more substantial. Kinda disappointing really+the majority of people who read this blog are people who also contribute or my friends and have already had me constantly force my links upon them in MSN.