Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Where are they now?: Madeleine McCann

Madeleine McCann was visited in a dream by the arc angel Gabriel and was told that in her future she would a life changing musician who's music would resonate a younger generation. Madeleine knew what becomes of such people so she preemptively faked her death and moved to the tropical island where Tupac, Biggie, Kurt Cobain & Joan Rivers live. Joan Rivers isn't dead. She can just keep a secret really well.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Role Play as Swine Flu!

I thought i'd keep in theme with this blog post and refer you all to a game George and I played sometime last year called Pandemic 2...

Depending on how you feel about the whole Swine Flu situation you can role play as Swine Flu and give it to all of your least favourite countries like Cuba or China. If you're a pretty big internet game fan i'd play it straight away or if you're not really into them I suggest you play it anyway because if One News have anything to say about the whole matter we'll all be dead pretty soon.

Who is the real villain Simon Dallow?
Who is the real villain...

Monday, April 27, 2009

It's everywhere

Youtube's front page

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possibly my last blog (in this life)

Now that swine flu is coming to murder me and everyone I love it's hard not to worry what will happen to my facespace/bebo/myspace/WoW/Second life/twitter/msn/neopets accounts. How will people who I only connect with via photo comments know when I have succumbed to the SF. People could go days without knowing that they are commenting a dead guy and then they might feel bad about it when they find out cuz linking a dead guy  1 guy 1 screwdriver might be considered bad taste or something. I would be willing to buy a facespace branded heart monitor that lets everyone know that I have passed away the instant my heart stops beating but I fear that the development cycle of this product would overshoot the current crisis. Maybe I will keep a small piece of paper in my breast pocket that has my account details so before my grey lifeless corpse is tossed into the mass grave the details can be taken out and used to inform the world that I am now a deadfag.

eg: XxXnightshadowbladeXxX-Yo, I'm totally dead. Don't feel bad. Play "bat out of hell" by meat loaf at my funeral.

Wish I could have been killed by a pandemic in the past. Back then people only had to care about dying IRL (in real life)+bread was cheaper+you didn't have to have broadband to be cool+living of the land+caring about the monarchy.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Japanese keyboards are shit.

I'll keep this brief as I hate using this jappy keyboard. One of our roommates who we have nicknamed 'jamboy' for his excessive consumption of raspberry jam (1 jar in 3 days) has just purchases a katana which he will probably use to attempt an 'Antonie Dixon' on us.

Don't wanna die having this be my last blog. So much I have to live for like high end WoW content and new halo 3 maps!!!!]

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Learnin' from our Pokebro's

So I was thinking about Pokemon the other day, and I realised there's actually a lot we can learn from our Pokebro's and Pokepal's...

The games especially mimic current Christchurch society, here's why:
  • Just about everybody scraps on sight
  • Your mother always spends your fucking money on useless shit
  • The fact you have no father is never mentioned
  • If you beat some Pokebro he gives you Pokecash, this is known as 'mugging'
  • All the radio stations are terrible
  • Over half of the people you meet are overweight
  • Most Pokemon are homeless

Mostly it's just funny playing through the game I used to play as a nine year old and laughing at all the shit the creators never considered.

Pokebro on Pokebro - Fuck him up with your cage.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Next time I blog i will be in the country that invented the final fantasy+heaps of guys ejaculating on one girls face

I doubt japan were the first to jizz on a chicks face multiple times in one sitting but they were definitely the first to give it a name. Thank god they did or we may never have been able to visit the bukkake club or hentai high school in second life.

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Anywayz been doing this assignment for history on women during the reign of Lizzie the First. My pal josh brought up a pretty important question that I hadn't considered.

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Turns out all search history from everyone at school is recorded on the google drop down lists. It shows the ingenuity of St Andrews college students and how they cope with search filters. I'm not sure the library would be an ideal place for browsing pornographic websites but you gotta love the kids for trying.

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