Friday, August 21, 2009

I don't care what people say. The word "gay" is versatile as fuck and I'll keep using it till I die.

Kia ora,

I had written this whole post about the whole anti-smacking referendum cluster date rape that everyone is talking about at the moment, but then realised that it was "pretty gay" and not something that I would want to read at all. So here is something a lil' more fun, quirky, light hearted, bubbly, out going, intelligent(Sorry, that makes it sound like the obituary for a teenage girl. It's totally not.)
Have you guys seens kids (mainly intermediate school kids) riding those fucked up skateboard/cerebral palsy simulators? Whenever I see a kid wobbling their way down the road on one these monstrosities I can’t help but think that his efforts could have been better spent learning to ride a real skateboard not riding this piece of crap that pretty takes his chances of ever seeing a boob and locking it in a lead safe, welding it shut and sending it off on a Samoan ferry ride. Not only do the kids who ride these look like lanky spastics they also all seem to be the kids who wear bike safety gear outside of the bike context. I mean, come on. You’re what? 4? 5 centimetres off the ground? Moving at negative a gazillion kilometers per hour, The gnarliest ramp you’re gonna hit is your driveway with a gradient of 1/3000 and even then your mum’s gonna fully flip out when you get within elvish eyeshot(like earshot but with eyes) of the road. You don’t need a helmet, elbow pads, wrist guards(the gayest type of guard), knee pads. Everyone knows that that shit is dumb. Leave the armour to the guys on the cosplay scene.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I came across this image while searching the internet today and thought it was too good not to post. I feel like it maybe gives hope to older men going through tough divorces. Watching Canterbury play Auckland play rugby on your own is about the loneliest thing a man can do, so why not put on your ex-wife's sexy bedtime wear and have at it with your land rover? Not only that, why don't you get your 6 year old daughter to take a photo and then post it anonymously on a forum. 

Anyway, I would have thought a cars exhaust pipe would be the last place you'd want to put your penis but I guess there are those who don't really care/have much choice other than masturbation. 


Monday, August 17, 2009

If you're drunk and you feel kinda sick, you shouldn't just keep drinking


why people do drugs instead of drinking.

(I wish I could've gotten bigger photos, but I don't know how, soz, lol)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

We actually did something we said we would do for once

These photos were taken at the after party, but I wore mine to the ball. Jack forgot. In the morning some lady didn't believe I sober enough to drive home even though I didn't drink at all. I was all "Seriously, you can breath test me if you want!" then someone pointed out the delicious irony of what i had said and what I was wearing. It didn't strengthen my case that's for sure.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Million Dollar Marketing idea

I've been reading a lot about Madeleine McCann a lot lately and although I know a lost cause when I see one, I also know a business opportunity when I see one. I think by now it's pretty obvious that she's either six feet under or in a garage somewhere submitting herself to the will of the internet.

Anyway, like the business opportunist that I am, I am presented with two options:
  1. Go on my own personal vendetta to find Madeleine McCann through leads on 4chan, once found I will dress her in a Where's Wally outfit and create the worlds biggest inappropriate joke by allowing people to finally find her dressed like Where's Wally.
  2. Release my own line of puzzle book titled 'Where's Madeline?' in which you have to find her amongst a crowded beach setting etc.
I'm semi-serious about the second option, although it'll just be Madeline poorly photoshopped into high resolution images. If I even get one comment telling me to do this, I will.

Madeleine McCann = Gone Burger.